Master of My Domain

I was at the doctor's office this week, catching up on some periodical reading, when I came across an interesting article in U.S. News and World Report (the poor man's Newsweek). The article outlined 50 ways to make yourself a better person in 2007. One of those ways is to blog. (Awesome! I am a step of you, U.S.N. & W.R.) Another way to improve your life is to ditch your lame blogspot address and acquire your own domain name. This made me feel a bit behind the times, as I am still using a clunky blogspot URL. So I am posing this question to you, fair and intrepid readers of this blog, what should my new URL address be? Here are some options:

www.uptownalex.com
www.alexwrites.org (alexwrites.com is taken)
www.alexequalsawesome.com
www.allaboutalex.com
www.alexhateswar.com

And the list goes on. I am going to make my final decision sometime in early January, then move my blog over to the new site. If you have any names you would like to suggest for the new website, please leave them in the comments section.

Seattle Newscaster Gets "ZEE'ed"

My good friend, Big Z, has a Space Needle-sized problem with Seattle newscaster Kathi Goertzen (from KOMO-TV 's nightly news). So how does he deal with his dislike of one of Seattle's favorite on-air personalities? He courageously sends her hate e-mails under a pseudonym ("Sam McDonald"). Here's a sample:

From: Sam McDonald
Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2006 4:39 PM
To: *KOMO-TV News Tips
Subject: Goertzen is the worst anchor EVER!

Kathy Goertzen is the worst news anchor ever.

Take her off the air.

Breathes funny.

And always sounds like she is going to CRY!! It's terrible and unbearable and I have stopped watching komo4 news with her AND have told all my friends and family do to the same (because we all agree) AND to pass it along.

Get rid of her. She sucks.

She's an illiterate mess, TAKE HER OFF THE AIR!

THANKS!

-Sam

And how does the unflappable Kathi Goertzen respond? She kills him with kindness! (Or an auto-reply. You decide.)

--- "Goertzen, Kathi" wrote:

Subject: RE: Goertzen is the worst anchor EVER!
Date: Thu, 7 Dec 2006 17:06:23 -0800
From: "Goertzen, Kathi"
To: "Sam McDonald"

Sam,

Thanks so much for the kind words.

I'll share them with my friends and family.

Kathi

I don't know about you, but in my book the score is:
Big Z: 0
Kathi Goertzen: 1

Words Said In My Writing Workshop About Me And An Essay I Wrote

"Lazy"

"Cowardly"

"Irritating"

"Unfunny"

"He is bobbing through life without care or purpose."

"Charming!"

Best Subway Platform Graffiti Award

When I first moved to New York, I visited a friend who lived in Greenpoint off the Nassau Avenue G Train stop in Brooklyn. As I was waiting for the train up to Queens (to transfer to the Manhattan bound E), I noticed that every advertisement on the platform was covered with writing: thought bubbles, dialogue captions, etc. Right in front of me, there was a poster for Ringling Brothers & Barnum & Bailey Circus. The poster was advertising an upcoming show at Madison Square Garden and had a picture of an elephant standing on its hind legs. Some genius took a Sharpie and drew a dialogue bubble and had the elephant screaming, "I WILL TRAMPLE MY JAILORS!!!" It was brilliant -- bar none the best subway platform graffiti I have seen in New York City.

Here's the thing: the graffiti at the Nassau Avenue station (located underneath the fabulous Pizza Prince) is consistently the wittiest in all of the city. The people on the Queens bound platform who scribble all over the ads while waiting for the G train set the gold standard for all five boroughs. For this reason, I am bestowing the station with my "Best Subway Platform Graffiti Award." Most subway stations have a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy ad, and some jerk creatively writes "FAGS" on it. Lowbrow humor like that has no place at the Nassau station. Last night, as I was waiting for the train, I purused the gallery of graffiti searching for my favorite piece. I found the winner as I walked past a movie poster for "Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny." In block letters at the top of the poster, someone wrote: "I HAVE MY DOUBTS ABOUT THIS MOVIE." Bravo, Nassau Avenue station, bravo. So if you think of something creative to tag at a subway station, try saving it until you get to Nassau Avenue. See if your work can compete with the talented graffiti artisans of Greenpoint.