Here are...THE SONICS!!!

It has taken me one week to fully recover from seeing rock 'n' roll legends The Sonics reunited at Warsaw in Brooklyn last Sunday. Why such a long recovery period? Let's just say that the reunited-Sonics that showed up at Cavestomp! turned out to be just as earth-shakin', bone-rattlin', and eardrum-splittin' as they were back when they were laying waste to dance halls across the Pacific Northwest in the 1960's. Oh, and just as I had always imagined, they were f@#&ing LOUD as sh*&!!!

The historic gig went down at Warsaw at Polish National Home in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. It's a fantastic venue that doubles as a Polish community center (they serve a mean pierogi, and Zywiec, a Polish beer, is the drink of choice). Before The Sonics took the stage, they were ably supported by The Wildebeests (from Scotland), The Lyres , and The Fleshtones. All the opening bands effectively pumped up the capacity crowd for the main event, especially The Fleshtones who were rocking out in their own backyard (they hail from Greenpoint, and played their paean to the neighborhood, "Destination: Greenpoint USA" to wild cheers); but listening to these openers was like nibbling on an appetizer while waiting for your New York strip steak to arrive -- a steak that has been slow-cooking for 35 years!

After The Fleshtones finished their set, the curtains were drawn shut on the stage. The audience waited with bated breath for nearly an hour -- well past midnight -- for the curtains to be flung open and the reunited heroes to be revealed. The delay was so long that I feared they might not play -- after all, Jerry Roslie has a notorious case of stage fright. But at about 12:30 AM, with the audience stamping their feet and chanting for The Sonics to take the stage, the famously savage three chord riff from "He's Waitin'" (Bb-F-G) was played, and the curtains were drawn open. Ladies and gentlemen, here are...THE SONICS!!!



Seeing The Sonics open with "He's Waitin'" ranks with my all-time favorite concert moments. It was a moment I had dreamed about for so long, that finally witnessing it gave me some wicked chills. Not only was it thrilling to finally see one of rock 'n' roll's greatest bands, but I was relieved and excited by the fact that Jerry Roslie's voice still sounds as sinister as ever. Even in old age (he had a recent heart transplant, to boot!) that dude can still let out a blood-curdling scream that sounds like Little Richard getting his teeth pulled. It was fantastic. He makes modern day screamers like Frank Black and the late Kurt Cobain sound like amateurs.


As I mentioned before, one of the best parts of the show was that the band was absolutely deafening. Larry Parypa shredded on The Sonics' classic primative riffs, and it was noted that the Epiphone guitar he was playing was the same guitar used on all of The Sonics' albums. Ricky Lynn Johnshon of The Wailers did a stellar job of pounding out The Sonics' caveman beats on the drums. Don Wilhem (of The Daily Flash) handled bass duties and sang a couple of the cover songs (can't remember which ones -- that's what happens when you wait a week to write up a review).

The two most entertaining members of the band turned out to be sax blaster Rob Lind, and of course, Jerry Roslie. Even though Roslie is the singer/songwriter of the group, Lind acted as frontman for the band in between songs. He was affable and introduced every number, occasionally with a joke. Before "Have Love Will Travel" he said, "This is for everyone out there that bought a Land Rover!" (The Sonics' cover of the Richard Berry classic infamously appeared in a 2005 commericial for the SUV) And if I remember correctly, Lind even sang "Walking the Dog."


In between songs, Roslie was silent and hid behind the giant Hammond organ he was playing. But as soon as a song started up, Roslie came to life. He made evil looking faces by arching his eyebrows, and hoisted his beer bottle during "Strychnine," implying that he was gulping down poison. The audience was delighted by his animated and inspired performance. Interestingly, there was palpable tension onstage between Parypa and Roslie. During a few songs, Roslie forgot when to come in with vocals after a chorus (I remember this happening during "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" specifically), and Parypa would get visibly frustrated. On the other hand, Parypa often stretched his guitar solos out a little bit too long on a few songs (I clearly remember this happening during "Have Love Will Travel"), and Roslie would glance at his guitar player with distain. During tense moments like these, it started to make sense why The Sonics haven't graced a stage in more than three decades.

But most of these minor tiffs went unnoticed by the sold-out audience at the show. Throughout the set, Warsaw's dance floor bounced up and down like a trampoline as more than 1,000 Sonics fans danced and pogoed to classics like "The Hustler," "Boss Hoss," and "Shot Down." Despite the fact the show went well past 2 AM on a Sunday, the crowd acted more and more frenzied as The Sonics played on late into the night. The Tacoma quintet closed out their set with a blistering version of "Psycho," and their fans went absolutely bonkers. Take a look...



After The Sonics wailed on "Psycho," Cavestomp! emcee and Nuggets curator Lenny Kaye (who said "It's a Nugget if you dug it" about 15 times over the course of the evening) brought the band back out for a well-deserved encore. The Sonics immediately launched into, what else? "LOUIE LOUIE!" I've always thought that their cover of Louie was one of the most sinister versions out there, and it certainly sounded wicked that night. Something about the way Parypa bangs out that Bb chord (which is VERY uncoventional for a Louie arrangement) just sounds evil to me. Hearing them play it live sounded like a supersonic jet flying directly overhead.

To end the show, The Sonics played their first hit single, "The Witch." Before playing the song, Lind asked the audience the sing out the line "'Cause she's the witch!" because the whole show was being recorded for a live album and they wanted as much audience participation as possible on the song. The throng of fans obliged and the closing number turned into a raucous sing-a-long. So not only will there be a live album to document the show, but I am guessing there will be a DVD, too -- there were video cameras taping the performance from all angles.

I was feeling euphoric after witnessing The Sonics' historic reunion, and while lingering outside the club after the show, I noticed a familiar face in the crowd. That familiar face belonged to a man named Rosie who I met at this year's LouieFest in Spanaway, Washington. I went up and introduced myself to Rosie, who traveled from San Diego to see the gig. (turns out that Jerry Roslie is his second cousin!) After informing him that I had played at LouieFest, Rosie said, "Well, you know Buck and some of the Wailers are hanging out backstage -- you should go and say hello." Sounded like a plan to me!

Rosie led me back inside, and I got to say hello and chat with Buck Ormsby of The Wailers. We talked about LouieFest, Woodstick, and the album that The Wailers are currently working on. While talking to Buck, I noticed that The Sonics had emerged from backstage, and were now signing autographs and chatting with fans. Among the fans elbowing their way to get close to The Sonics were current chart-topping Swedish garage rockers, The Hives. I snapped this lousy picture while three members of The Hives chatted with their forebears, The Sonics:


All five of The Sonics mingled with their fans, taking pictures and autographing LPs and posters. They seemed genuinely grateful for the gratitude their fans were showering upon them. I even got them to John Hancock a couple of "Louie Louie" 7-inches!


Although their two Cavestomp! performances were advertised as a one-time only event, I can't imagine that they aren't going to play more shows. For one, the demand is so high for The Sonics right now (I highly doubt they could have sold out an NYC venue back in their hey day), and they would be silly to turn down the money. But more importantly, they proved that they haven't lost a step and and still out-rock bands half their age.

Frequently Achooed Question

Q. Why do my eyes shut when I sneeze?

A. If your lids weren't closed, the force of the explosion would blow your eyeballs out and stretch the optic nerve, so your eyes would flop around and you'd have to point them with your hands to see anything.

Shameless Plug

So there is this terrific magazine called Mental Floss, and they have been kind enough to ask me to write some parodies of school worksheets. I'll be writing about one a week for the next few months. Please visit their website and check it out. Also, buy lots of subscriptions!

A Banner Week for THE OFFICE

It has been awhile since I last posted about my second favorite television program, The Office (my favorite show being, of course, 30 Rock). For fans of The Office, last week was momentous. Rainn Wilson, a.k.a. Dwight Schrute, hosted Saturday Night Live with musical guest Arcade Fire. I'll be honest, I only watched about 14 minutes of it, but those were 14 minutes of above average hilarity. Office fans around the globe must have been slapping their knees with delight at SNL's spoof of Dunder Mifflin. Check it out if you missed it:

But the highlight of the episode was the following digital short. It's tough to go wrong when you have a board room filled with characters named Mountain Joe, Crazy Carl, and Captain Pajama Shark.

But more significant to The Office's red letter week was the actual episode of The Office on Thursday. Yes, shockingly, Pam admitted to Roy that while they were engaged, she kissed Jim. Whoa! That's a bold confession, Pam! Roy and his brother responded by trashing a bar, then Roy vowed, "I am going to kill Jim Halpert." This week's episode is going to be a barnburner. Will Roy kill Jim? We shall have to wait until Thursday...

Be careful, Jim!

Why Ibrahim Allen, A Cabbie Who Drove Me From Morningside Heights Back To My Apartment Yesterday, Said He Allows Passengers To Have Sex In His Taxi

1) "It's beautiful, man! What is wrong with two people making love? Nothing, man, nothing! I say let them make love. I have no problem with people making sex in my car. It's the continuation of life! It's why God put us here, man."

2) "When it is a red light, I like to turn around and watch."

Jury Duty!!!

It arrived in the mail yesterday: my first ever jury summons! I must admit, I am beside myself with anticipation. I have to report to court on March 1st (the big one on Centre Street...you know, the one from Law & Order!!!). Anyway, it's probably illegal to do this, but I think I will use this blog as a forum to write about my experiences as a juror. So stay tuned...

The Hairs and Affairs of the Mayor

My good friend Michael Russell once said that the amount of styling gel a man uses to spike his hair is directly proportionate to the amount of cocaine he snorts, i.e. "If your hair's got height, you've been sniffin' the white." Well, today when news broke about San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's affair with the wife of his top aide, one citizen of San Francisco was quick to blame it on the copious amount of hair gel in the Mayor's hair.
CNN.com reported: "Tom Abbott, 36, an executive recruiter, said that having an affair with a loyal aide's wife was 'a total slimeball move. Any guy who puts that much mousse in his hair can't be trusted,' Abbott said. 'You don't screw over your own boys.' However, Abbott said, he would probably vote for Newsom."

Blame it on the mousse. I couldn't agree more.

Kind of Busy These Days...

So instead of some boring blog entry about my life, please enjoy this video by Norwegian video-editing wunderkind, Lasse Gjertsen.

Most Excellent Music of 2006

I know this is, um, 17 days late, but I finally got around to making a top 10 list of my favorite albums of 2006. One of my professors (the inimitable David Levithan) is conducting his 8th Annual Music Poll, and asked a bunch of people to submit their Top 10's of '06. Here's what I sent him:

1) The Decemberists, The Crane Wife
2) M. Ward, Post-War
3) Comets on Fire, Avatar
4) Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins, Rabbit Fur Coat (Fun Fact: Lewis starred in The Wizard.)
5) The Black Keys, Magic Potion
6) The Hold Steady, Boys and Girls in America
7) Bob Dylan, Modern Times
8) Belle & Sebastian, Life's Pursuit
9) Cat Power, The Greatest
10) Sonic Youth, Rather Ripped

If reissues counted, I totally would have put the deluxe edition of Pavement's Wowee Zowee at #1. If you think there are any glaring omissions from this list, please let me know (and don't say Regina Spektor). If you want to read what a total clown thought were the best albums of 2006, please visit Kayvon's page.

GUEST BLOGGER: Brian Boyer

If you frequent the bars of Santa Barbara's State Street, you are most likely familiar with this week's guest blogger. Brian Boyer is a bouncer at The Study Hall, a fine drinking establishment with mind-blowing happy hour deals and the world-famous "Study Burger." If you are in search of a jovial drinking buddy, go down to The Study Hall and seek out the company of Brian. However, if you get too rowdy within the confines of The 'Hall, you will find your teeth curbside on the corner of Haley and State (courtesy of Brian's left heel). This week, Brian discusses the most shocking acquisition of baseball's off-season: The San Francisco Giants' pernicious pilfering of Barry Zito from my beloved Oakland A's.

There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it: I am a San Francisco Giants fan. Now I know you probably hate me already, but just let me say my piece and I’ll go back underneath my eccentrically decorated, out-of-touch-with-the-rest-of-the-country rock where upon I can cheer for a team every bit as treacherous and villainous as the Yankees (minus the charming figurehead and tendency of it’s players/coaches to die in winged aircraft, of course*) and fiendishly hope that a home run hitting machine assembled in a Bay Area Laboratory continues it’s systematic assault on baseball’s most revered records to feed the appetite of its unnatural ego. Imagine a Snidely Whiplash mustache twirl just for good measure and that’s pretty much April through September for me (October if I’m lucky). Although, given Mr. Bonds's more recent predilections, maybe he’s finally turning a corner; he’s gone from injecting horse steroids and choking teammates to the more benign ingesting greenies and blaming teammates. Baby steps. But to quote Mark McGwire, “we’re not here to talk about the past.” No, we’re here to talk about the future and Barry Zito’s place in it.

Is this Bonds’ year to pass Aaron? Only mild-mannered Bruce Banner knows for sure

When Alex, an avowed Oakland A’s and New York Mets fan, approached me several days ago about writing a blog posting about Barry Zito’s recent move from a Giants fan’s perspective, I set two goals for myself: one, to ensure Alex’s internet infamy by making sure his blog shows up on random and disturbing google searches, (with that in mind, “Pedro Martinez bukkake”) and two, not to lower myself to the level of Bonds haters by rubbing in the current status of the Bash Brothers or Dwight Gooden and the Straw. Every team has dirty laundry and skeletons in the closet. It’s just unfortunate that the Giants’ owner, Peter Magowan, and GM, Brian Sabean, insist upon trading their young talent away for other team’s skeletons and making them play the outfield. The Giants have been a strange mix of circus sideshow and retirement home ever since that black October in 2002. They’ve traded away ridiculously good young flamethrowers year in and year out for broken down old sluggers, team cancers and shitboxes (*cough AJ Pierzynski cough*), and just plain mediocre baseball players all in an attempt to build the championship team of right now. Building for the future has not been the strong point of the current SF brain trust. Spectacle, on the other hand, the Giants can do with the best of them. Seriously, I’m expecting a press conference any day now to announce they’ve exhumed Eddie Gaedel and signed him to a 4 year, $16 million deal. And, maybe, just maybe, that’s why the Barry Zito (knew I’d get around to him eventually) acquisition is so refreshing. Because for the first time since Bonds showed up at Candlestick Park in 1993, the Giants are planning for what’s down the road instead of what’s right in front of them. The team has finally signed an all-star, game changing player that can be the new face of the franchise once Bonds’ massive heed is out of the spotlight.

Don’t get me wrong, though, I suffer from no delusions about the Giants’ chances this year. I’m predicting 3rd place in the NL West, which will be a much more competitive division than years past. Their offense is built around an ancient, possibly soon to be incarcerated left fielder and Ray Durham coming off a fluke year. The rest of the lineup consists of bit players at best and “brain dead Caribbean hitters hacking at slop nightly” at worst. Their starting outfield combined is over 100 years old. Aside from Omar Vizquel, there isn’t a single impressive glove on the team. The place where the team shines though, is it’s starting pitching. They’ve got a solid mix of veteran and young arms, now anchored by Zito.

Zito brings pitching ability and celebrity girlfriends to the Giants

The big knock against Zito that I’ve heard since he went on the free agent market is that he’s not a staff ace; he’s not a flamethrower and is inconsistent. Having a CY Young on one’s resume seems to disqualify any argument against the man’s credentials. Similarly, dueling with Clemens and Santana in recent years in the postseason say a lot about his big game potential. The fact that he’s not a power pitcher means Zito can be a durable inning eater without worrying about him burning his arm out down the stretch like so many fastballers out there. Besides, a 12 to 6 curve is just as lights out as 99 mph 2 seamer. Just ask any batter who’s made Sportscenter while looking like their back is about to break after Zito lets one fly.

Barry Zito: Seal Whisperer

Did the Giants spend too much and offer too long of a contract? Fuck yes! But that has more to do with the market than what kind of player they’re getting. If Gary Matthews and Gil Meche can land monster deals, then Zito’s not going anywhere for peanuts and guitar picks. But, one of the benefits of a long term deal is that the team can take its time rebuilding once Bonds is off the books or in jail. The pitching should coalesce this year and the team can hopefully reap the benefits over the next few years. More than anything else, though, this signing is an indication to the fans that the team is willing to open its wallet and buy some all-star players again. A few more offseasons like this and normalcy can’t be too far around the corner. At least fans can again hope for something other than the 600lb gorilla in left field somehow avoiding time in the clink. 2007 is shaping up to be a bizarre year at AT&T Park (is that what it’s being called now? Jesus, I don’t even know anymore). But maybe in October, the big top will come down and in 2008, the Giants can finally just get back to playing baseball.


*Although, given the recent bizarre deaths of Chris Brown and Jose Uribe (U-Ribe!), perhaps the 1980s Giants infield is similarly cursed…if the bloated corpse of Will Clark shows up one of these days complete with eight ball hemorrhages, try to act surprised.

Thanks for the awesome essay, Brian. To anyone who lives in Santa Barbara and is reading this, please go down to The Study Hall and ask Brian how many World Championships the Giants have won. When he tells you how many, remind him that the A's may not have Barry Zito, but they do have 4 trophies.